Your Last Goodbye
by Justine123
Summary: Totally TIVA Tony and Ziva Set in season 7, so far no spoilers for upcoming episodes, just my take on how I wish these two get together.
1. Chapter 1: Absolution

CHAPTER 1: Absolution

**Absolution**: n. **1**, act of absolving. **2**, forgiveness of sins; remission of punishment for sins

She's awake before the sun rises. In these early hours she sits and waits. She waits for absolution; for forgiveness. But every morning the sun comes up just after six; and still she remembers, still she sees his eyes, the pain and utter distrust darkening the once brilliant green. She had put a gun to his chest and she will never forget. The tears come and go before she's ready for work and she puts up a brave face, knowing he'll be there, without fail; just like he's only been. Ziva David is a broken woman and as she waits for absolution and forgiveness she does not realize she already has it; with every grin he paces her way; with slight touch of his hand he gives her his forgiveness. She has the devotion and the heart of the one man that completes her, the one man that gets her yet she put a gun to his chest. Her reasons seem small and strange now, but still they were there at the time. She needed to protect him; she needed her loyalties to be with her father; if not, Eli David would have killed Tony; all because of love. You see Eli David was not the type of man to invest in simple things like emotions. He trained his daughter to do one thing and one thing only- kill. Ziva put a gun to Tony's chest and she still feels the weight of it in her hand.

She was never supposed to survive the trip to Africa. Her father knew it was a suicide mission, never expecting her to ever come back. So, she was always prepared to live out the last of her days in that dark, damp, lifeless cell … alone. Instead she was surprised, pleasantly of course, when she was dragged from her cell and left in the hands of Tony and McGee. He was bruised and dirty Tony, but still it was her Tony. At that moment it took her a few seconds to realize that both Tony and McGee were there, to find her. She was even more taken aback when Tony told her that they had come looking for revenge, even when she was thought to be dead. She held back her tears and would continue to do so until she was home alone, later that week.

"I couldn't live without you, I guess." That single, heartfelt line had given Ziva the strength to escape; especially when her body had been prepared to die. Truth be told, her heart wasn't ready to let go.

Salvation could be hers; all she had to do was ask the one person who could give it to her. Gibbs was right, a part of her died in Africa.

* * *

The holidays had gone easier than she thought it would. She got to spend Thanksgiving with her family, she had told Ducky that she would be spending the time with neighbors, but she knew deep down that he didn't buy that story for a second. Tony had taken her home that night and as she gave him a kiss on the cheek she was overwhelmed with the desire to tell him everything; how she felt about him, that he was right about Michel about her father, but instead she smiled and let him go. She took the steps to her apartment two at a time, closing the door just in time to catch the tears rolling off her cheek. She never realized that Tony had followed her up and was leaning against the other side of the door, trying to will himself to knock. Instead she glanced around her apartment it was practically bare, no pictures, very little furniture and lifeless, just like she had once felt on the inside. She realized just how much Tony had meant to her and if she could bring herself back from this dark place she's been hiding out in, she would be able to give her heart completely.

* * *

Her cycle started to break after that night; she woke up with the alarm at six instead of two hours prior. She waited for the tears that usually came, but instead she showered, dressed and was out the door in plenty of time to get coffee and breakfast; without having to worry about the blotchy skin and red puffy eyes. Her life was starting to smooth out. She was even inclined to shop online; with Abby's help of course. She bought a red area rug for her living room. It was simple and small, but it was a step in the right direction. Tony came to work shortly after her, and right on his heels was McGee, she was definitely warming up inside.

***

After a long day of interrogations and tracking down suspect after suspect the time had finally come to pack up and head home for the night. Ziva glanced over at Tony's desk, he was shoving his gun and badge into his back pack, looking tired and worn out. With her head down she gained enough courage to force the words out of her mouth, "Tony, would you like to come over tonight?" She paused and allowed her head to lift and her gaze to settle on Tony, "I will cook us dinner and maybe we can-"

"Just the two of us, like old times?"

"Yea."


	2. Chapter 2: Faith

Chapter 2: Faith

"_Should be so careful who we leave out of our lives; 'cause when we long for absolution, they'll be no one on the line.": Kris Allen_

Tony had followed her home and once safely inside the threshold, asked to use the bathroom. After pointing him in the right direction, Ziva made her-self busy pulling out pots and pans; getting their dinner started. She was nervous to say least, there were so many words left unsaid, so many questions left unanswered, a bridge that needed rebuilding. "Time heals all wounds." She remembered reading that quote somewhere and hoped that in time, his wounds heal, as well as some of her own.

Tony came in from the bathroom and took a seat on the empty stool near the island and just watched. She was graceful in the kitchen; everything came easy to her there. She knew how to through the most simplest of dinners, and yet there was something so elegant about the way she did it. For tonight, Tony begins to see the makings of something Italian and he grabs some wine from the pantry in the hall and is greeted with a knowing smile from Ziva, when he returns. "What's that grin for Zee-vah?"

"You always know where I keep my wine. I apologize for the smaller selection; I haven't had much time to-."

"No apologies necessary, I understand."

"Do you?"

"Well now I have a feeling that we're no longer talking about the wine." He puts the wine on the island's table-top and took a seat. With her head down, she began to ring her hands together.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to bring the mood down tonight; it was not my intention."

"First of all, when did you start looking down all the time, like you have something to hide? And second, I was waiting for you."

"Well, I wish I could say that I miss the old me, but I quite like the new."

"Me too. Just as long as she cooks like the old Ziva."

"Of course, some things are quite pleasant to remember. Can we talk … after dinner?"

"After dinner it is."

***

Both Tony and Ziva had finished half the bottle of wine and pushed the dinner plates aside. The two were enjoying some laughter and light conversation and Ziva began to feel the weight of the world pushing down upon her, she wanted his comfort and his love. Tony sensed her uneasiness and began to clear the table and halted her movements when she offered to help. "Sit, I'll only be a few minutes."

When Tony came back, Ziva had moved to the couch and he set a black velvet box in front of her. "Tony?"

"Open it. I'm dying to see what it is."

"Tony, you shouldn't have." She tried to place a scolding tone in her voice, but a grin appeared instead.

"C'mon, open it." Tears had sprung to her eyes, and with a slight tremor, her hands gripped the box and pulled the top open. She had no way of stopping the gasp from sliding out past her lips, so she didn't. Instead, she cried.

Inside, was a Silver Star of David. It was not embellished with diamonds or pearls. It was just a simple platinum star hanging from a delicate chain. Ziva's head fell into her hands and Tony wrapped his strong arms around her, letting her burry her face into his chest. Not caring about the wetness he felt starting to seep through the cotton material.

***

Her sobs had subsided and Ziva lifted her head from its place in the crook of Tony's neck. Her eyes were tinted pink and slightly glassed over; her breaths were short and shallow. "Talk to me Ziva." She stayed in his embrace but titled her head just slightly to look at him.

"I am so sorry Tony. I pointed a gun at your chest and I never told you how sorry I was. But I needed to protect you, and I got so far into covering everything up I just felt trapped. I did not want my father to hurt you, so instead I did. Eli sent Michael to not only burn me, but to kill you. He felt that my loyalties lay too much with NCIS and not enough with Mossad. I guess he had enough. Eli never realized that Michael liked his Scotch, just a little too much and either he got too drunk or too sloppy; maybe even both and he failed his mission. I took your advice and started watching Michael and suspicious emails were sent from my computer and I started trying to cover up for him and when that Marine showed up dead, I knew I could no longer keep up the charade. I was going to confront him that night and then I heard gunshots and I swear I thought … I thought …"

"It was me you had been shot."

"You were on the ground and I wanted to smack you so hard, but only because I was relieved. We went back to Tel Aviv and my father was not a happy traveler to know that Michael had failed –"

"It's camper, Ziva, not traveler." His grin broke the tense air and Ziva followed suit, but she finished her confession in one quick breath-

"I should not have pointed a gun at you and I should not have made Gibbs chose between you or me, and for that, I am truly sorry." He held on to her, afraid to let go. She had been through so much and yet here she was, back in his arms, home; where she belonged.

"Do you trust me Ziva?"

"With my life Tony."

"Then we move on, and we keep no secrets from each other."

"When then, in that case there is one last thing I should tell you."

"Am I going to like this?"

"I am in love you Tony, always have been and always will be."

"And I Zee-vah am in love with you; always have been and always will be." Tony cautiously moved in to brush his lips against hers and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself closer and before his tongue could sweep into her mouth she broke, just inches from touching.

"We should tweak this."

"Tweet Ziva, tweet; McGee already went through this with you."

"Whatever, I never understood the point of _tweeting_ anyway."

"Me either." And this time their tongues met and danced all night.


	3. Chapter 3: Whatya Want From Me

Chapter 3: Whatya Want from Me?

"_Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)  
that baby you're beautiful  
And it's nothing wrong with you  
(nothing wrong with you)  
It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)  
but thanks for lovin' me  
Cause you're doing it perfectly" : Adam Lambert_

Ziva had lost something in Somalia, she knew that much. She knew she was not the same old "soulless, heartless killer" she was once conditioned to be. She was now so much more. Ziva felt more with her heart, than with her killer instincts. In the time between her capture in Africa and the time she spent home; she had learned to trust, believe in herself, and love. For the first time her heart ached, because it was working. To her, they were baby-steps, but to Tony and even Gibbs, they were milestones; like a baby learning its first word, even though it's just one, it means the world.

***

After a particularly rough shift, the four of them; Tony, McGee, Ziva and Abby had ended up going to happy hour at the local bar down the street. During the day, "Hooligans" was an old man's bar; men stalling so they didn't have to go home to their wives. Drunks sitting at the same stool since twelve that afternoon. The air was stale, the remnants of smoke lingering on the clothes of the ones pulling on cigarettes outside. But after hours, the bar took on a younger crown; a mix of the twenty-something college students and the thirty-somethings escaping a long day at work. They were the thirty-somethings, well except Ziva, she was still in her twenties … albeit late twenties. They took a booth in the back corner away from the preppy girls with their skirts too high, the polo wearing boys who couldn't take their eyes off their chests; and the Debbie-downers who hated their jobs but couldn't find and excuse too quit. The four NCIS agents liked their jobs, sometimes too much; it just happened to have been a pretty rough case. A marine was found dead in his home by his 10 year-old daughter; with a gunshot wound to the back of the head, and a severed spine (which Ducky confirmed happened post-mortem). After countless interrogations and false leads, the answer had been under their nose the entire time … the wife had done it; and all for his million dollar life insurance policy; which won't do her any good in prison. Ziva had taken the case pretty hard; a little girl betrayed by her parent. It brought back the unpleasant memories, ones that she wished she buried deeper inside of her. So, now they order their drinks and Tony buys a round of shots, no fruity lemon drops, or melon balls; just straight whiskey.

After downing the first two rounds, the foursome loosens up a bit and began to fall into easy conversation. Sometimes all four of them joined in on a joke, or rehash a funny time in the bullpen and at other times it was just Tony and Ziva huddled close so they could hear one another, or Abby and McGee laughing at some new high-tech gadget they couldn't wait to get their talented hands on.

Ziva didn't know that this is how friends worked. No matter where the four of them are, they have each other's backs, the talk, they listen, they joke around and they truly care about each other outside the office. Does Ziva share the same taste in fashion as Abby, no; but she could call her up one day and go shopping; she wouldn't mind looking into the Goth-centric stores Abby shops in. Do Tony and Tim share the same tastes in computer gear; no, but McGee would help Tony buy a new computer when his finally kicks the bucket and Tony would help McGee when he lost a few pounds and needed a new wardrobe. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how different you are from the people around you, it's how you make it work. Sometimes you fail, but other times you succeed and the people that once started out as strangers are now the only family you consider to be yours.

***

The boys drank just enough so they couldn't drive home and Abby took McGee and Ziva dragged Tony to her car. "Look at McDrunk over there; he's not doing to good with the whole, McWalking thing." His words slightly slurred together toward the end.

"Neither are you Tony." She took her keys out of her coat pocket and led Tony to the passenger side. He looked from the seat to her realizing that was in fact driving home tonight.

"We're gonna die aren't we?"

"No, Tony, we're not going to die. Get in."

"Maybe it really would be safer if I drived."

"You mean, 'drove'?"

"Yea, that's what I said, drived. -Jeez Zee-vah hard of hearing?"

"No, now shut up and put on your seat belt."

"Fine, help me in."

"You are already seated Tony."

"Really, would ya look at that, I am. Hmm guess I can't feel my ass. Or my legs for that matter. They still there?" With a hiccup he turned his gaze to his lap.

"Yes Tony, all three of them."

"Ha, you made a joke. Good one Zee-vah."

The ride home had been uneventful, well at least there was no vomiting, there was however a duet of "Roxanne" from the POLICE. By the time Ziva had made it to her apartment, Tony had sobered quite a bit. "You seem to handle your liquor fairly well Tony."

"Yes, I usually use my right hand, I have more dexterity in that arm but I could-" He cut himself off when he realized Ziva was laughing. She was actually smiling at something quirky he had said and Tony leaned over and took her lips captive with his own, but the seatbelt he still had on, limited his mobility to maneuver any closer. After reluctantly pulling apart,

"We should take this inside Tony."

"Yea, that's a great idea."


End file.
